Awards 2009 part one

It is the season of Awards and here is my list of 100 Awards for the year 2009

1. ‘Hopes of the world’ Award for Leadership : President Obama
2. Back with a ‘Bong’ Award for Politics  : Dr Manmohan Singh returning to power in alliance with Didi Mamta Banerjee
3. ‘Press Down’ Decelerator Award for Economy : Global Recession
4. ‘Melting Away’ Award for Environment : Global Warming
5. ‘Choking Lungs’ Award for Carbon Emissions : China
6. ‘Flip-Flop’ Award for Friendship : China and India
7. ‘Making Hay while Sun doesn’t shine’ Award for Opportunism : Pricing of ‘Sun side Seats’ during the longest Solar Eclipse
8. ‘Avoiding Plastic’ Award for Death : Michael Jackson
9. What Goes around comes around Award for International Terrorism : Pakistan
10. ‘Put Your Foot in the Mouth’ Award for Inflammatory Oratory :  Varun Gandhi
11. ‘Just Do It’ Award for ‘age-defying’ activities : N D Tiwari
12. ‘Balancing Beam’ Award for political survival : B S Yeddyurappa
13. ‘Shove under carpet’ Award for Scams : A Raja
14. ‘Shovel for more’ Award for Scams : Madhu Koda
15. ‘Political League’ before ‘Premier League’ Award for refusing security for IPL : P Chidambaram
16. ‘Show must go on’ Award for IPL : Lalit Modi
17. ‘Tamil on International Forum’ Award for Excellence : A R Rahman at the Oscars
18. ‘All grapes are sour’ Award for Shattered Dreams – National : Lal Kishan Advani
19. ‘All grapes are sour’ Award for Shattered Dreams – State level : ‘Amma’ Jayalalithaa
20. ‘Fast of the Century’ Award for Breakfast to Lunch Fasting : M Karunanidhi
21. ‘Save Tiger’ Award for Political one-upmanship : Tamil politicians in Srilankan issue
22. ‘Love all’ surfaces Award for finally achieving it : Roger Federer for winning at Rolland Garros
23. ‘Art Collector’ of the year Award : Muttalick for his collection of Pink Chaddis
24. ‘Uni-ty in Mara-ti’ Award for Tolerance : Raj Thackeray
25. ‘Aiyo Vada Poche’ vadivelu Award for Losing Ashes 2nd time : Ricky Ponting
26. ‘Life Before Warmup’ (LBW) Award for protection : Pakistan Security Establishment for their protection of Srilankan Cricket team
27. ‘Net-the-Dalit Practice’ Award for prime-minister-in-waiting : Rahul Gandhi
28. ‘Kumbkaran’ Award for waking from slumber : Justice Liberhan
29. ‘Pen is mightier than Sword’ Award for defying party leadership : Jus-went Singh for his book on Jinnah
30. ‘Water Conservation’ Award : Congress – for not reappointing Shivraj Patil as home minister known for taking 3 baths especially on a day of calamity
31. ‘The Eleventh Hour’ Award for preparedness : Suresh Kalmadi for CWG 2010
32. ‘Nehru’ Award for trying political legacy, down South : Jaganmohan Reddy, son YSR
33. ‘Theres-always-a-first-time’ Award for Negative growth projections : IT Sector
34. ‘I-Me-Myself-Ourself’ Award for Politics : M Karunanidhi & Family
35. ‘The humour is missing me’ Award for ‘Quotable Quote’ : Shashi Tharoor for his ‘cattle class’ remark  (Remember ‘headless chicken’ ?)
36. ‘Not-worth-the-wait’ Award for Fiction : Dan Brown for his ‘The Lost Symbol’
37. ‘The Lost Symbol’ Award for the now-extinct trait of Indian Democracy : Honesty
38. ‘Whats-new’ divorce of the year : Salman Rushdie divorcing just his 5tharm-candy, Pia Glenn
39. ‘Big Fuss’ Award for Best Legal Drama : Pakistan and it’s charging of Hafiz Saeed
40. ‘Cotton Plug’ Award for not heeding to calls : India  for it’s refusal to come back to the discussion table on composite dialogue (whatever that meant)
41. ‘If-you-can-i-too-can’ Award for Bravery : President Patil for flying in the Sukhoi like her predecessor Dr APJ Kalam
42. ‘Like Father Like Son’ Award for being the latest heartthrob : Ranbir Kapoor
43. ‘Wristy Strokeplay to Hand play’ Award for logical extension : Mohd Azharuddin’s plunge into  Politics
44. ‘Ban of the Year’ Award : Deo’ban’d for it’s fatwa on singing of Vande Mataram by Muslims
45. ‘Spoiler of the Year’ Award for electoral hustings : Vijaykanth
46. ‘Vijay Can’t’ Award for tiresome movies of the Year : ‘Young General’ Vijay
47. ‘Fake of the Year’ Award : Rakhee Sawant and her make-believe Swayamvar
48. ‘Height of Unemployment’ Indicator Award : Those who quit their jobs to participate in the Swayamvar
49. ‘Mushroom’ Award for growing impunity : Reality Shows in Indian Televisions
50. ‘Indian Machine of the Year’ Award : Sach ka Samna’s polygraph machine